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Egypt protest escalates to new heights as protesters demand Mubarak step down while wearing a beautiful satin prom dress. ¤ Roaming panda terrorizes community into mass cuddle of cuteness. ¤ Apple announces the creation of a new MacBook called "Pen and Notebook". ¤ Peruvian flute more annoying than bagpipes during funerals, study shown. ¤ P. Diddy announces that the "P" in his moniker is not "pimp" but "parent". ¤ Dreams are made from bovine spongiform, experts confirm. ¤ "Sometimes, dead men do sing better in a barber shop quartet," said Kanye West to a few angry white people. ¤ Santa to deliver gift to Morocco for the first time in 35 years after Elven Made Toys Embargo ended. ¤ San Diego Chargers win award for "Best Baseball Team in Their Heads". ¤ Michael Bay to create movie about rock climbing, explosions that will cause his imminent death. ¤ Bangladesh annual monsoon rains to electrocuted textile workers. ¤ While Tron smashes the holiday box office, Tron Guy's testicles smashes atoms.

Rick Santorum Wants to Become President Pope, Media Misread as “Persistent Poop”

Posted: March 21st, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: North American News | No Comments »

CHICAGO, doctor Illinois – Rick Santorum, link after losing the Illinois Republican primary, released a statement to several reporters before continuing his tour around the country. At a press conference, FOX, MSNBC and CNN have reported that Rick Santorum wanted to become “Persistent Poop”. Confused by the statement, Santorum goes on to mention that he wants to rule the United States on the the “poopy”cy seat. The press core looked even more confused as he started describing the motions he would do to get his job done, to become “Persistent Poop”. The motions performed by Santorum further confused reporters from al Jazeera and also, ABC News.

Baka-TV would like to correct all three news networks that Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum did not say “Persistent Poop. He wanted to become President and Pope, at the same time. The motions gestured by Santorum during the press conference was in reference to journalist David Blumquist from Bloomberg on how does Rick Santorum does a poop.


Suicidal Community Fans Stop Committing Suicide

Posted: March 16th, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: Entertainment, Media and T.V., North American News | No Comments »

BURBANK, check mind California – Neilsen ratings confirmed that NBC is poised to take 4th again in the timeslot and thus, seek ending the cycle of suicides throughout the United States. On November 2011, pill the depressed Community fans heard that the show was going on a hiatus to make way for the menopausal variety hour, 30 Rock. Upon hearing the news, many fans wrote letters to NBC headquarters at 30 Rockefeller expressing disdain. However, a majority of fans created a suicide pact, claiming each day without Community, a person from the pact has to kill themselves. So far, the pact has claimed the lives of 98 people. With the return of the beloved NBC show, fans of Whitney are now doing a similar version of the pact. Sympathy from the online community was nonplussed about the affair as fans of Whitney are considered painful people that deserve to jump off a 20-storey building.