Egypt protest escalates to new heights as protesters demand Mubarak step down while wearing a beautiful satin prom dress. ¤ Roaming panda terrorizes community into mass cuddle of cuteness. ¤ Apple announces the creation of a new MacBook called "Pen and Notebook". ¤ Peruvian flute more annoying than bagpipes during funerals, study shown. ¤ P. Diddy announces that the "P" in his moniker is not "pimp" but "parent". ¤ Dreams are made from bovine spongiform, experts confirm. ¤ "Sometimes, dead men do sing better in a barber shop quartet," said Kanye West to a few angry white people. ¤ Santa to deliver gift to Morocco for the first time in 35 years after Elven Made Toys Embargo ended. ¤ San Diego Chargers win award for "Best Baseball Team in Their Heads". ¤ Michael Bay to create movie about rock climbing, explosions that will cause his imminent death. ¤ Bangladesh annual monsoon rains to electrocuted textile workers. ¤ While Tron smashes the holiday box office, Tron Guy's testicles smashes atoms.

Five Minute Review: Grand Theft Auto Chinatown Wars

Posted: March 26th, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: Nintendo DS | No Comments »



Graphics: 5/5 – Expected of the DS graphics capability and Liberty City never looked this fantastic from the top-down view

Audio: 4/5 – Pedestrians, approved cars and music only radio. It’s the Nintendo DS capability

Control: 5/5 – Sticking it to the man has never taken this literal. Also, gynecologist assembling a sniper and hotwiring a car has never been this fun.

Technical Stuff: 5/5 – This little cartridge can do no wrong… 800, pharmacy 000 lines of coding…

Plot: 5/5 – Sarcasm… check. Crime mob control… check. A dozed up to the eyeball Triad leader… DOUBLE check!


OVERALL: 4.8/5

The Positives

+ Huang is as sarcastic as Niko Bellic so expect top notch dialogue with no voice so, you can make it up

+ Graphics are not top notch but it is isometric

+ Touchscreen on the DS has so much minigames when you jack a car, ride an ambulance, set a bomb

+ Classic paramedic, vigilante, taxi, jumps and collectibles are back

+ No races, just checkpoint time trials

+ Crooked cop named Heston

+ Drug dealing is main way to get sustainable income

+ There is a replay feature if you die after the mission or pass a mission in your home

The Negatives

– Not enough cars and vehicles

– Limited sound effects and music

– Alderney is missing and that’s where Korea Town is

– No Brucie Kibbutz

– No usable helicopters

– No races

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